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I felt blessed to be able to be there in the early years of Katie’s life; when she first stepped unto her school bus; being able to visit her at kindergarten and see the look in her eyes as she proudly danced around I’ll never forget the joy of sharing her smile, so proud to have her daddy by her side. I remember working three jobs just trying to make ends meet as a visiting part time daddy. Thankful that her mom was not so vindictive after suing me for child support to not alienate me from her. It hurt that my name was not on her school papers or on her birth certificate. That I was just some non-custodial father struggling to turn his life around, shunned by those around me. It tortured me knowing we would never be a real family; you know that type where both parents live together happily ever after. I remember the church chorus singing a lovely hymn and suddenly she just started singing, “Old MacDonald had a farm…” The days we would spend at the zoo, by the river, chasing the amusement parks, down the shore or just visiting with her. That first Christmas tree and how she got all wound up around the tree ornaments and that look in her face when I told her she couldn’t see her toys till Christmas day. I remember how she would model for me all the pretty dresses I would get for her; all the surprises she would have for me waiting whenever I would visit; how she would have her pet gerbil do tricks for me and the day at the toy store as I asked the cashier how much was the toys I was about to buy her and how Katie popped out a sock full of change and asked, “Is this enough?”
Excerpt from, “The Demonization of Fatherhood and Alienation from Parenting; One Fathers Struggle to Change a Broken System”
By John R. Hernandez, Jr. © 2008
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