In Support of Civil Rights for All Non-Custodial Fathers
Preamble to the US Constitution; We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Universal DECLARATION OF Human Rights “Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.”
Today freedom of speech, or the freedom of expression, is recognized in international and regional human rights law. The right is enshrined in Article 19 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights, Article 13 of the American Convention on Human Rights and Article 9 of the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights. Based on John Milton‘s arguments, freedom of speech is understood as a multi-faceted right that includes not only the right to express, or disseminate, information and ideas, but three further distinct aspects: • the right to seek information and ideas; • the right to receive information and ideas; • the right to impart information and ideas.
The above text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; The above[quotes] and texts and statements have been borrowed from among other places Wikipedia.com
“First they threw out prayer in schools along with the bible, then they threw out the pledge of alligeance, then they came for our unborn and threw them into waste recepticles like yesterday’s garbage, then they created a massive bureacratic family court system -which- singlehandedly gurantees to all states and to all women a nice fat check for every man they file a lawsuit of child support on; ultimately helping to place the final wedge between fathers and their children” John R Hernandez, Jr.
Those who know of me, know how much I love my children and they sure dang know what hell I have been put through by the system and the two mothers of my children. We are all human beings and we all make mistakes. I’ve made mine, God knows I made two big mistakes with those two. But, I have never brought shame or hurt to any one of them or to their door. I have walked away, lived my life and left people alone to sort out their own misery and mistakes. I have paid dearly for only wanting one thing. To have what every decent sane man should dream of and want. God knows I try to be a good Christian as far as patience will allow. I did my best with my oldest child, though she grew up in a single family home; I spent most of my time there playing with her, taking her to the park, the zoo, the amusemnst parks, the sea shore; in effect I was there and I saw her grow up and shared greatly in her life. Her mother never pushed me away or alienated me from her. And she made every effort to come with her and visit and if I wasn’t there I knew there would be a note on my door letting me know she came by. I would have to say we had a good realtionship. Because, I allowed it to be for 15 years of Katie’s life. I was there! I contributed what I could. I paid my support and still spent out of the other pocket on my daughter and if the mother needed something I did my best to get it for her. Even though I knew deep inside I had been railroaded by the family court system. I tried to live a clean life and made sure to never let my daughter see me with another woman. So she would never have to hear the words “your dad is a woman chaser”. I wanted her to remember me in a good way as a good father, a good example in her life. Just as I remember days like this one. It was after working the all night shift I went over to her and her mom’s home. I’d fallen asleep on the couch for an hour or so it was about 8:am and I jumped up. Because, this was her first day of kindergarten and I knew I had to be there. Her mother and I walked her to the schoold bus stop. I helped her get on the bus, and just as she got to the top of the stairs on that bus she did a 160 degree circle and said to me, “Wrong bus!”. My heart fell somewhere between my stomach I know not where. It was all I could do to hold the lump in my throat and I said, “No baby this is the right bus, here let me introduce you to your new bus friend” and she said hello to the other girl sitting there by herself and sat next to her and they smiled at each other. I said, “bye-bye I’ll see you later baby”. The bus rolled on down the road as I held the tears as best I could. Her mom smiled and we walked away with another precious memory of our little girl’s first experience on her first day of Kindergarten. After that first day at school I would take her to school or her mom would. And we both would go visit and let her know we loved her and wanted to be near her; as she learned to get used to school life. I used to love to buy her things with what little I had. I remember she would love to model for me and I would encourage her. I got a picture of her modeling for me where she looked like both Little Bo Beep and Shirley Temple in it. I remember when I ordered the cardboard doll house for her. I thought to my self it wasn’t wood but she might like it just the same cause somewhere I saw a part of me in her. Well, the day came and I brought the package over to her and we both put it together. She was tickled pink! She loved her doll house even though it was cardboard. It still meant the world to her and she had many months and years of fun with it and all the toys. I and her mother and granmother got for her to go along with her special doll house. Another memory was that I used to love taking her to buy toys and things and take drives and one day while on a toy drive I stopped at Kaybee Toys at the Mall. Well, we walked around that store for what seemed like hours me pushing the cart around those eisles of toys and more toys. The cart was full and I stopped by the end of one eisle and had a word with her. It went like this, “Now hon you know we can’t afford all these things so why don’t we pick out a few things we like the most and let’s get out of here” And she said, “Okay daddy” and I followed her as she led me back all around and she would take things out of her cart and putting them back on the shelves. When we finaly got to the counter a young woman asked, “Will that be all?” And out of nowhere Katie pulled a sock full of change out of her little pocketbook and swung it on the counter and asked the cashier, “Will this be enough?” It was one of those many moments again when my heart fell back between my stomach somewhere as the lump in my throat grew heavy. One of these days I’ll try and post some of the pictures of Katie and I back When we Were Us.
An Informed Decision Based on the Facts and Not One Skewed by Bias Makes for a Better Argument: A Rebuttal to the President’s Father’s Day Message and My Suggestions
Our US Constitution Guarantees us the Right to Speak Out Mr. President; you need to get the facts straight before you speak out on a subject you obviously know little about. I mean you know about raising your children and it’s obvious we both come from single parent homes. But I have look at my father and his gift of life to me as a sacred one. Yes, you know how to be -as you put it- a good father to your children. But, you have no idea why some men cannot be in their father’s lives. That is an issue that must be taken on a case- by- case- basis. Once all the facts are gathered then you can make informed statements-based- on the information before you –about- certain groups or members of certain groups -in this case- fathers. The generalized statement that fathers may be bad because they are absent from their children’s lives is a blank statement to deter attention from the real facts that need your further attention. Who is it that you don’t want to rock their boat? Sometimes in leadership one has to rock someone’s boat to get them to take a close look at their actions and practices and see if they need to be changed based on the facts presented. To insinuate that men that are absent from their children’s lives are “bad men” is an insult to people you have no facts about. If a man is not in his children’s lives it can only be for three reasons. He can’t be, he doesn’t want to be or he is being alienated from his children. But to make rash statements without first knowing the real facts of a situation is to put a further wedge between men -that you have no factual knowledge about- and a society who for far to long has been made to think that non-custodial fathers or absent fathers have dome something wrond. And then you ask men to step up and be good fathers as if a man that is not in his child’s life is a bad man -without knowing- the facts of the case. I don’t know of any man that in his heart does not love his child. But, to make rash statements without facts is to malign people you don’t know anything about. First, investigate the situation before you open you jump to conclusions or to offer solutions. First, get some information on –Parental Alienation– which some parents but, mostly non-custodial fathers -in particular- have had to be subjected to. Because, it’s one of the main reasons –many- fathers cannot be in their children’s lives. Parental alienation doesn’t just have to come from the mother, it can come from any authority figure in that child’s life-that is suppressing- a fathers ability to spend time with that child. Go to-angiemedia.com- and get the facts before you make a statement that will appear as a broad or general judgement on people you don’t know. Go to -parentalrights.org- and get the facts. Millions of men out there deal with issues concerning Visitation, Equal Parenting, Joint Custody and many others with the mothers of their children. Some men are subjected to situations when dealing with their ex’s that exhibit patterns of anti -social behavior and which have been clinicaly associated to symptons of Parental Alienation. Many men every day are trying to get the word out that this nation’s family court system needs to be reformed. It needs a broader look into it’s practices towards non-custodial fathers. Many men out there are suffering day by day the emotional stress of being alienated from their childen, they are helpless. Because, the the majority of the courts ignore their issues. Directly suppressing them from having the kind of relationship they need and want to have with their children. There are many valid organizations out there that are speaking out against -a disease- that is way too prevalent -today- within the realm of father’s and children’s relationships. Some of these organization are championing causes like family court reform and equal parenting. But I believe they need to go a step furether and fight for stricter accountability of funds men must pay to the custodial parent in order to get a better picture of where the money is going, and I believe also that a routine drug test(within reason of course) should be impletmemted to all if not most custodial parents -in most if not all- cases. Along with the creation of a syetm to help parenst deal with their visitation and custody matters without the need to deride or ridicule men in family courts! I believe in order to make imformed decisions that pretend to support the best interest of children one needs to get the facts before generalizing men’s characters! Offering a pass to a zoo or a ticket to an amusement parkfalls short of helping to deal with the major problems facing men and women today when it comes to their children. When for far too many the problem has been shown to be -alienation and the oppression- inflicted upon them by a rouge family court system. Men are not bad fathers because they are not spending time with their children; when there are cases out there totally the opposite of what you may have in mind. My concern for -the past 30 years- has been to find someone, who will listen, -someone- with an open intellect and not one whose priorities are skewed -clouded -by biased decisions others have or may have impressed upon that individual. I wanted to find someone that would make the right decisions on the issues both parents are facing without having to make them based on some of the facts or not all of the facts presented. And certainly I did not want to find someone whose ideals and values where colored by the ideals and values of those around him or her. Who, obviously are not acting in the best interest of resolving the issue before them based on the weight of the facts and preponderance of the evidence set presented. To make decisions that affect the lives of millions of children and their fathers –simply- because you want to appease those under you is the opposite of what I was looking for. I wanted someone who was willing to stand up above the crowd and rule justly and righteously and with reason. I wanted someone that would stand -separate and apart- and make decisions based on the facts and not to just tow the line and follow the rest of the crowd he belongs to. A president or general or king must not let those around him sway his decisions. This is the way he will show to the people that he is a -just and fair leader- who is willing to act in the best interest of the people. And not the special interests of a particular court or organization or people whose facts are skewed and biased.
Excerpt from, “The Demonization of Fatherhood and Alienation from Parenting; One Fathers Struggle to Change a Broken System”
By John R. Hernandez, Jr. © 2008
I felt blessed to be able to be there in the early years of Katie’s life; when she first stepped unto her school bus; being able to visit her at kindergarten and see the look in her eyes as she proudly danced around I’ll never forget the joy of sharing her smile, so proud to have her daddy by her side. I remember working three jobs just trying to make ends meet as a visiting part time daddy. Thankful that her mom was not so vindictive after suing me for child support to not alienate me from her. It hurt that my name was not on her school papers or on her birth certificate. That I was just some non-custodial father struggling to turn his life around, shunned by those around me. It tortured me knowing we would never be a real family; you know that type where both parents live together happily ever after. I remember the church chorus singing a lovely hymn and suddenly she just started singing, “Old McDonald had a farm…” The days we would spend at the zoo, by the river, chasing the amusement parks, down the shore or just visiting with her. That first Christmas tree and how she got all wound up around the tree ornaments and that look on her face when I told her she couldn’t see her toys till Christmas day. I remember how she would model for me all the pretty dresses I would get for her; all the surprises she would have for me waiting whenever I would visit; how she would have her pet gerbil do tricks for me and the day at the toy store as I asked the cashier how much was the toys I was about to buy her and how Katie popped out a sock full of change and asked, “Is this enough?”
And that’s my Fathers DAY Message!!